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Good lovely day to all of you. This is post #4 in my NanPoWriMo series for the month of April. Some days I post the free writes, some days the poems that come out of the wonderful writing exercises provided by our host Nancy Lyneé Woo. Today, I am posting both.
I often find if I stop to pay attention, that I carry a lot of fear in the form of anxiety. I find that re-naming and envisioning help tremendously. Many studies have shown that we take more action on the things we write down (up to 42% more!). Therefore, I find writing about the thoughts or mental and emotional habits I want to change extremely helpful. I challenge you: try it for a month! I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the changes. Today’s thought-jerker is below, along with my response and poem. Be blessed.
1) List states of being you’d like to let go of or release. 2) What is the opposite, and what does that feel like?
Fear of Making Mistakes
It feels like I’m frozen. Like I’m standing on a pinpoint at the top of a cliff and one move in the Wrong Direction could be my last. And wherever the Right Direction is, there’s this invisible bridge that will guide me to safety. Only, because the bridge is invisible, I can’t tell where it lies.
My observations of life have trained me to fear mistakes, or wrong moves. My father once made the slight mistake of failing to notice a crack in the ceiling. His house fell down around him.
What Does it Feel Like to NOT be afraid?
It feels like floating. It feels like I will be okay. No matter what. It feels like there’s no right answer, and no one’s going to die. It feels like maybe the Wrong Direction is just a different choice; like there is no optimal path. It feels like freedom.
Hesitation is not My Name
There is no magic “right choice.”
After every choice I make
I am still alive, Steve Harvey style.
I will use that choice to go on living.
If I wear the “wrong” kind of shoes today,
and someone decides I’m snobby,
I can use that assumption to fuel kindness.
If a Facebook post leads
to lost friends, it also leaves
an opening for new ones.
If eating ice cream causes me to gain a few pounds,
I can lay aside my body judgments
and become an advocate for self love.
And I can shatter my new name –
Freedom –
into tiny sparkles;
fling them over my shoulders
on my way down.
What am I afraid of?
Not being able to say “goodbye” to those I love.
This mainly applies, of course, to departure by death, due to distance, or suddenness.
But I think there is a new term for no proper goodbyes, called “ghosting”, when someone that you had communed with, even loved, even had a relationship with, just drops out, no explanation, no apology, nothing.
On ghosting – oh yes David, I hate that more than anything. It can be soul-crushing. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.