As discussed in last week’s post, yes, I see a therapist. The poem I shared on that topic last week is included in the “Regeneration” section of The Locust Years. There was a time I wouldn’t have been able to say those words. I was filled with so much fear of therapists or any type of mental health resources growing up that it always seemed like something to do me more harm than good.
I had my first therapy experience soon after my mom’s death. My Aunt Jennifer (now retired) was a faith-based LCSW who specialized in EMDR. By that time, I had grown so uncomfortable with the symptoms of what I later learned were severe anxiety and complex PTSD, that “try therapy” was on my list of things to do.
It ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. While I was under her care, my aunt taught me so many techniques for changing brain pathways from negative patterns to more positive ones, as well as grounding and calming techniques I really needed. Now that I’m much calmer myself, I have passed those techniques on to numerous students, friends, and others I have met who struggled with anxiety and flashbacks.
Eventually, my aunt retired and moved away. Finding a new therapist was again a scary matter. This is because I don’t trust a lot of people, particularly therapists (old habits die hard). Eventually though, my symptoms once again proved to be too much for me to handle and I had to open my mind.
My current therapist, Abby (the one featured in the poem) is hilarious! Her sense of humor often helps me open up, as well as to see the humorous side of my fears or the silly “hamster wheels” of thought that I’m prone to. I have found that quality extremely helpful as it reminds me, among other things, to quit taking myself so seriously!
Besides that, her main clinical approach with me has been cognitive-behavioral. In our sessions, I tell her what I am struggling with and then she gives me a strategy to get myself out of a mental rut or deal with the issue at hand. I could honestly say my quality of life would be greatly decreased without those strategies!
If you have been struggling with the idea of seeing a therapist because you’re afraid, I encourage you to consider it again.
A big part of finding the right therapist, I’ve learned, is finding one who uses an approach that works best for you. The same approach will not work for everyone, hence the invention of different approaches. (For instance, the Freudian “tell me about your childhood/and how does that make you feel?” approach does not work for me at all!)
Try a few therapists and don’t give up if the first one or two does not seem to be helping. Ask them what their clinical approach is and make a point of finding a different one with a different clinical approach to try, and see if that approach helps you more.
Studies done on people with depression and anxiety have shown even in severe cases, the patient did best when medication was combined with sessions of therapy. We all need someone to talk to sometimes. Even better if that person knows strategies to get us out of our own head!
