I have always had a hard time concentrating. I was frequently in trouble at school and at home for daydreaming and not finishing my work or homework. As an adult in college, it got really rough.

My therapist gave me a test after we discussed the symptoms of ADHD. I felt I had a lot of them, but had never been officially diagnosed. Turns out, I have enough of the markers to show that I have ADHD on top of my complex PTSD. This was not good news.

“Trauma brain” is where executive function is significantly impaired by strong fight-or-flight signals of survival. Most of us with complex PTSD know that stress makes this 100 times worse! During this time, I had a kennel to help run and a full time job. There were profound gaps in my education before college, so I had to read a lot of extra books and take remedial courses to bring myself up to par for college. I was trying to keep a high GPA and graduate on time,  and running on about 4 hours of sleep per night! Needless to say, concentration was often next to impossible.

As I mentioned in my post “I Don’t Have to Rush,” I was trained early that forgetting things or making mistakes were unforgivable infractions. Repercussions may not have been a beating, but they included lots of yelling, being called stupid, and usually being accused of doing it on purpose just to be irritating or spoil my mother’s “plans” (like we ever had any of those!)

But I found little “fixes” for myself as I have always done. I Googled “speed reading techniques”and learned how to glean max information from the assigned textbook chapters in minimum time so I wouldn’t zone out. I discovered the power of annotating for helping me remember important points from the reading. And I talked myself through those 16-20 page writing assignments! These helped me stay on-task, and shortened the task for my short attention span.

Other things that worked well – I would take “mini-breaks” and do jumping jacks, push-ups, planks, and yoga poses. I’d play hiphop, rap, or R&B music in the background, which helped my thoughts flow with the rhythm. Sometimes I’d take breathing breaks and just try to zone out, focus on a spot on the wall and breath OUT all my anxiety and negative energy. I’d visualize all this being ejected from my body and into the wall. Then I could come back fresh to the page and re-focus.

While working on my Master’s, I began doing what I call “preventative prayer.” Every morning, I’d pray “Lord, please help me be able to concentrate today. Give me good ideas and don’t let me forget anything important!” I can honestly say He never let me down. I truly felt an increase in my ability to concentrate when I prayed this prayer.

So what is the takeaway for you from all this?

If you are living with ADHD and Complex PTSD, make sure you are in regular therapy. Next, I highly recommend getting on at least an anxiety medicine. A friend recommended Buspar (Buspirone) when I finally opened up. I got a prescription from my doc and felt SO much better almost right away! I also began taking Neuriva after my husband’s doc recommended it to him for increased brain performance. I have noticed marked improvement in my ability to concentrate when I take it, too.

Probably THE most important thing to remember is a lesson I am actively trying to learn: You do NOT have to be PERFECT. It is okay to make mistakes. Whoever told you it wasn’t – well, they were human too, and they most definitely made their own mistakes. I’ve forgiven my mom for her mistakes. It stands to reason I can forgive and be gentle with myself!

When it comes right down to it, you are all you’ve really got. You better at least be on your OWN side!