From the moment I decided to publish The Locust Years (my survival memoir), I have made peace with questions. See, I wrote the poems in this book on my healing journey. They were tools, each an individual in it’s own right, to help me process things that happened as I was being raised by a mother with untreated schizophrenia.

I’ve always had a strong desire to understand myself, and what goes on inside of me: my thought life, my feelings…my internal world. But when I decided to place my creations in a collection and publish, I first considered the implications of doing this.

What would happen when all of the family members I was just getting to know, now that there was no one forbidding me to see them, read this book?

What might they ask?

Did I want to answer those questions?

And what about public events?

Did I want to stand in front of a room full of people, bare my soul, and then discuss my secrets with them?

The answer to all of these had to be, basically, whatever happens will have to happen!

I always say I haven’t been through the things I’ve gone through to keep my experiences to myself. The reason I ultimately decided to publish my story was to help people who were in the same boat as I had been – people who felt alone and alienated, like there was no one else who could possibly understand their life. I know what that’s like. I know how it feels when you think you can’t have a “normal” life; a happy life. I once felt that way. But look at me now! I had to learn how to open my mind and heart, but here I am with a wonderful husband, many friends, and a full life – not the empty one my trauma-brain figured I would have.

Everyone has their struggles, and my goal is not to present myself as an expert or mental health professional. I’m not! And certainly, I still have much to learn and to overcome in myself. But life experience counts, and it is by sharing our experiences that we learn and grow from each other. It is a two-way street.

So I hope you find the posts on this blog useful and informative. I hope they help you understand things about yourself that maybe you’ve Googled (as I did in the past) and could not find any information. I hope you take what you need from the tools and attitudes I’m sharing that have helped me. But more than that – I hope you comment. I hope you email me. I hope you look me up on social media and strike up a conversation. Because sharing with fellow humans is a way we learn and grow together.

I want to be part of anything that will help us be more self-aware and mentally healthy. Because I’ve seen what the opposite of that looks like, and I never want to be there again. So if you read something here that you want to know more about, THAT is why I don’t mind talking about it.

If you’d like to email me, send to kelly@kellyhanwright.com

Facebook: facebook.com/kellyhanwrightwriter

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