My Self wants to write – to pour out what is inside her, but just for me. She doesn’t feel like sharing. Yet here I am, posting what we wrote because I promised to blog. I promised Me, and I promised my readers, who hopefully at least know by reading my posts that We stand in solidarity.

I feel – have felt for a long time – that there is Me, and then there is My Self. My Self is my advisor – my “inner parent,” if you will. Maybe my psyche shattered a little after all…
All I know is, My Self has been giving Me advice since I was a child, and she is the one I often look to for motivation.

Everbody’s searchin’ for a hero. People need someone to look up to. I never found anyone to fulfill my needs – a lonely place to be. So I learned to depend on me. ~Whitney Houston

I’m crying a little this morning, but it’s ok. Trust me, it is. I’ve had to re-learn it’s ok, and that has been a long, arduous journey. So please don’t begrudge me my tears.

My tears mean something – not just for me, but for you. They mean it’s ok for US to cry. Although apart, we cry together. When I weep for what I go through, I weep for you too. And when the tears come and we don’t know why, we don’t have to have a reason. We can just let them out. Because it’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to have emotions.

Once, a long time ago, I decided I was tired of crying so I made up my mind to stop. I thought if I didn’t cry, I would not be sad. But – I found out that isn’t true.

Instead, the sadness gets frozen. Petrified sadness – not good. It hardened. Then – which one was it? Me? My Self? …or did we work together? We shaped it into a weapon; sharp spear to jab at anyone who got too close.

Is the spear disappearing, now that I can cry again? I don’t know.

I don’t know…